


Twilight Dreams

by liketolaugh



Series: Building Elysium [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Fix-It, Gen, Nightmares, Pacifism AU, They're trying really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7792456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketolaugh/pseuds/liketolaugh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first night in the Ark is as hard as the first day, and Allen is just tired. But the Noah want this to go well as much as the exorcists do, and they're trying. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twilight Dreams

It was almost a relief, to step out into the Ark and not feel a connection with everything around him. It let him feel more like himself.

The first day on the Ark had been challenging for everyone. The pull of a place to call home was alluring enough for almost all the exorcists to agree, but it couldn’t banish years of fear and resentment, and conversation had, all around, been stilted and forced.

A willingness to try didn’t make peacemaking easy.

Despite having many of the same hang-ups as his friends, Allen, half-combined with Neah, had been the one who put the most into keeping everyone calm and civil, going back and forth and easing tensions whenever it looked like they were heading into a fight (and at the same time avoiding the Earl with everything he had, because _God,_ he wasn’t ready for that yet). Meanwhile, Johnny had been doing his level best to talk to all of the Noah at once – nervous, but determined not to let that stop him.

Johnny was asleep now, as he should be. Allen, by contrast, while exhausted from the previous day’s trials, couldn’t bring himself to sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

He’d had nightmares half his life, but here, in this foreign place, surrounded by people who had once been enemies, they seemed especially bad. He hoped he got over that soon.

Despite not knowing for sure, Allen wasn’t surprised to turn a corner into a ‘park’ and find some of his friends seated around a fountain. Lenalee was half-asleep, leaning against Kanda and jerking awake every few seconds, exhausted but unwilling to sleep. Kanda was leaning back, eyes shut, scowling slightly. Both of them were sitting on a dark bench, surrounded by strange not-quite-real flowers and a single bare tree, while Lavi sat on the edge of the fountain, uncharacteristically quiet, swirling one hand absently in the water.

“Evening, beansprout,” Lavi said when he noticed him, the forced cheer in his voice drawing the attention of both Kanda, who opened his eyes, and Lenalee, who sat up, rubbing at her face sleepily. Lavi grinned at Allen, and Allen politely ignored the shadow in his single green eye. “Looks like we’re having a party tonight, eh?”

“No fucking parties,” Kanda snapped irritably, shaking his head like a dog. His hair was out of its customary ponytail, spread haphazardly across his shoulders and in his face.

“He’s joking, Kanda,” Lenalee yawned, and then smiled wanly at Allen, pushing herself upright. “I guess we’re all feeling a little unsettled tonight, huh?”

Allen let his smile fall, and he sighed and sat down on the ground by the fountain.

“It’s the first night,” he offered, trying to sound upbeat. “There were bound to be some problems. We’ll get used to it soon, I’m sure.”

“Don’t pull that shit here, beansprout,” Kanda grumbled, brushing his hair out of his face impatiently. “Not when we know _exactly_ what kind of bullshit it is.”

Allen started to say something, to protest, but the words caught in his throat and he was just… tired. So instead he sighed again, leaned back against the fountain, and closed his eyes again. “Yeah. Okay.”

There was a short moment of silence. Lavi coughed.

“Y’know, this isn’t the way I thought things would turn out. Before. I mean, all things considered-”

“Lavi,” Lenalee cut him off, sounding almost as tired as Allen. Lavi fell silent.

In the ensuing quiet, Allen let the sounds of the night wash over him. In the Ark, there weren’t very many, but there were some. There was the bubble of the fountain behind him, the swish and swirl of Lavi waving his hand through the water, the hum of the Ark itself, and-

Someone was approaching, with steps light enough that it was either Timothy, or-

“Now, now, what are you four doing out so late?”

Road’s teasing voice goaded Allen into opening his eyes again, and he looked over to see Road striding over to them, a soft, lightly mischievous smile on her face that was belied by the subtle darkness in her gold eyes.

He pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the fountain beside Lavi and offered the girl a polite smile. “Good evening, Road.”

“More like good night,” she teased, casting her gaze across the four of them, visibly interested. Then she refocused on him, widened her smile, and, before he could react, threw herself forward and latched onto his arm, barely keeping from pulling them both into the fountain as he yelped. “It’s not good to be up so late, you know!” She pouted at him. “Things could _happen.”_

That was the wrong thing to say; Lenalee half-flinched, scooting away from Kanda, now fully awake, the heel of her foot grinding anxiously against the ground. Kanda’s hand twitched toward his sword, ever-present even now, and Lavi started, so subtly Allen might not have noticed if he hadn’t been looking, his hand making a false motion toward his hip.

Road’s smile fell, and she tacked on, leaning against Allen, “Little boys and girls need sleep.”

“Yeah, and if you didn’t notice, that means you a _fuckton_ more than it means us,” Kanda snapped harshly, fist clenching. “So why don’t you just _run the fuck along-”_

“What Kanda means-” Allen interrupted, giving Road a slightly strained smile, “is that we’ll be fine. We know how to take care of ourselves, Road, don’t worry. You can go to bed if you like.” _Please go to bed,_ he didn’t say.

There was another brief moment of silence, and then Road snuggled comfortably into Allen. “No, I think I’m fine where I am,” she said lightly. So quiet that Allen thought he was the only one who heard it, she added, “I’m the Noah of Dreams, Allen. Do you think I don’t know when someone has a nightmare?”

Before Allen could come up with a reply to that, he noticed another Noah approaching, and looked up to see Wisely, just rounding a corner to meet them, hands clasped casually behind his back and gaze on them.

“Lots of people up and around tonight,” he commented mildly, coming to stop by the bench, still standing, with his gaze sweeping over them impassively. “One would almost think you weren’t comfortable here.”

Kanda bristled, fist clenching so hard it shook. But not even Kanda would risk the peace they’d sought for so long – and the Noah knew it, too.

Wisely took them in for a moment, and then he sighed, relaxing. Allen bit the inside of his cheek, anxiously wondering what kind of decision the other white-haired boy had come to, and then suppressed a flinch when Wisely winked at him.

Of course, Wisely could read minds. Allen would just have to get used to not being quite so unreadable.

Not for the first time, he wondered if this really had been a good idea, after all.

“Change is hard,” Wisely said at last, stepping back to lean against the tree, a respectful distance from even Lenalee and Kanda, who were closest to him. His arms were crossed, and his brief smile had vanished, but he didn’t look identifiably angry or even irate, either. “We’re all adjusting.” His gaze lingered briefly on Road, and Road’s arms tightened around Allen’s. Allen didn’t look down to see what kind of expression she was wearing, but he did see Lavi straighten up in interest. “No one will blame you for it.”

“I would hope not,” Lenalee replied, quiet but sharp. Allen thought for a moment that she would say more, but instead her head dropped, her fists clenched, and her heel ground once more against the pavement.

Wisely was silent for a moment, and then he nodded.

“For what it’s worth,” he said at last, and he was looking at Kanda now, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Kanda looked like he’d swallowed a lemon, and then a ferocious scowl ripped across his face. When he spoke, his voice was so rough as to be almost animalistic. _“Fuck. Off.”_

Wisely didn’t look especially surprised by that. For a moment, Allen thought that Kanda was going to stand up and leave, but he glanced at Lenalee, and then at Allen and then Lavi, with his gaze lingering on Road as well, and visibly made the decision not to.

Road tugged on Allen’s arm and, when he looked down at her, murmured, “Wisely wants this to work, too.”

It was half-encouraging, Allen thought, and smiled at her ruefully. She smiled back, and then let go, pushing off to linger in the air, flat on her stomach a foot or two above their heads, feet up and bobbing behind her.

Kanda scowled briefly at her, too, and when Lavi laughed, it sounded a little forced.

“That must be fun,” was Lavi’s comment, grinning up at Road, green eye too bright. “Flying whenever you like.”

Road smiled at him and did a roll in the air and then something like a somersault, ending up almost right beside Lavi, who did a good job of not flinching in surprise. “It is,” she agreed cheerfully. “It’s one of my favorite things about my powers.”

Allen half-smiled, and then looked over and met Lenalee’s eyes. She swallowed, managed a smile of her own, and offered, “Flying is my favorite thing about my Boots, too. I feel so free when I’m in the air.”

Road rolled over so she was on her back and smiled at Lenalee upside-down. “Maybe we could go flying sometime,” she said cheerfully.

“Yeah, maybe,” Lenalee agreed softly.

“Hey, cheating boy, why wasn’t I invited to this party?”

Tyki and Sheryl rounded the corner, one after the other, and Allen briefly wondered if they’d unintentionally sent up a beacon at some point. _Traumatized exorcists here. Not in the mood for talking. Please approach._

Wisely glanced up and commented mildly, “The Earl should have known that I would notice our absent exorcists long before he did.”

Tyki waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, you know how he is. He was worried.”

“As he should be,” Sheryl added sternly, wagging a finger at the assembled parties. “It’s three in the morning and you should _all_ be asleep.” He huffed. “Especially you, my darling Road – you need your sleep!”

Was it? Allen hadn’t bothered to check. He almost laughed.

“But _Daddy,”_ Road pouted, spinning back onto her stomach and dropping her chin onto her hands. “I don’t wanna.”

Lavi, Allen noted with concern, had gone abruptly very stiff. Before he could move to do something about this, Lenalee broke in.

“We’re fine,” she said, her voice noticeably cooler than it had been speaking to Road or Wisely. “We’ll go to bed sooner or later.”

Sheryl’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, and then flickered briefly to Lavi. Something unreadable passed over his face, and then he shrugged and flapped his hands dismissively.

“Oh, you don’t know the Earl yet, but he’s very fretful,” he said cheerfully. “I assure you, it’s much easier to stay here and make sure you get back in timely manner than to deal with a worried Millennium Earl.”

“Thank you,” Allen offered, when it was clear no one else was inclined to speak. “That’s very kind of you.” He took in Sheryl’s slightly put out expression, sighed, and added, “We’re all a little tired; I’m sorry if we’re not particularly receptive at the moment.”

“Speak for yourself,” Kanda muttered, scowling at the ground in the absence of a single acceptable target.

“Then you should go to sleep, cheating boy,” Tyki commented idly, gaze sharp, ignoring Kanda’s aside.

Allen let his gaze linger on the Noah for a few moments, and made a mental note to apologize to him later. For trying to exorcise him. It was the least he could do.

A lot of apologies were owed, on both sides.

What he said instead was, “Please let us get used to this in our own time. It was bound to be a bad night. We knew that when we came here.” His smile softened into something more self-deprecating. “We’ll be fine. I promise.”

Another brief moment of silence while Tyki’s gaze lingered on him, and then the Noah shrugged, chose a bench that was not occupied by exorcists, and plopped down to lounge on it, one leg crossed over the other. “Hell, we don’t have anything better to do,” he said.

“Anyway, family doesn’t let family stay up alone,” Sheryl added, and Allen felt his heart skip a beat – whether that was from himself or a half-awake Neah, he had no idea, but the thought of being part of a family sent his gaze back to the ground and a flush to his cheeks. “Why, my darling little brother would stay up all night if you asked! Isn’t that right, little Tyki?”

“Shut up, Sheryl,” Tyki growled, and when Allen glanced up, he suppressed a smile; Sheryl was trying to hug Tyki, and Tyki was squirming away with not quite all of his might. “This is why I can’t take you anywhere, you idiot!”

“You know you love it, Tyki,” Road teased.

“No, I damn well don’t!”

Kanda snorted. It was the first remotely positive reaction he’d surrendered since the Noah arrived, and perhaps that was why it drew attention the way it did. As soon as he noticed that, he scowled, but said anyway, “Some people just don’t know when to fucking quit.”

“You said it, samurai,” Tyki muttered, and finally escaped Sheryl’s grasp.

“This ‘General Tiedoll’ seems an interesting character,” Wisely commented with a slight, wry smile.

“Idiot general,” Kanda groused, not without a sharp warning glare to Wisely, who inclined his head in acknowledgement.

Quiet. Allen nudged Lavi and gave him a questioning look, and Lavi managed a grin and a thumbs-up for him, in direct contrast to how pale and stiff he still was. In return, Allen gave Lavi a faint smile, and Lavi relaxed slightly.

After a few moments, Lenalee laughed. It wasn’t exactly a happy sound, but it wasn’t hysterical, either, not scared or upset or unhinged.

“It’s over,” she said, head dipped so Allen couldn’t see her face, hands clenched into loose fists and voice flooded with what Allen hesitantly identified as relief. She was shaking, a little bit. “It’s really over.”

“It’s over,” Allen confirmed, voice soft. He glanced at Kanda, scowling faintly, and Lavi, half-slouched and uncharacteristically quiet. He looked at Lenalee, and then Road, whose smile was gone, and Tyki and Sheryl, both watching them sharply, and finally Wisely, whose gaze was as unreadable as Allen’s ever was. And he let himself smile. “We’re going to be okay.” He looked at Tyki and Sheryl, and added, “Thank you.”

And maybe they didn’t get it now, how much it meant to them, but they would, eventually.

Sheryl inclined his head, smile gone. “It wasn’t really our choice,” he noted mildly. “Not once the Earl had agreed.”

“Even so,” Allen agreed, and Sheryl smiled. Tyki laughed.

“He’s not going to stop until he gets the answer he wants,” he explained to Sheryl cheerfully, and Sheryl chuckled.

“In that case – you’re welcome.” He hesitated, and then seemed to shrug and smiled again. “Allen.”

After that, the exorcists didn’t stick around for long. Kanda left first, stalking off alone in the general direction of his room, and then Lavi, with a hasty, muttered excuse; Allen was grateful that he’d stuck around as long as he had, considering his nightmare had more likely than not been of his time in captivity. Road left soon after that, with a significant look at Wisely, and Sheryl went with her, to tuck her into bed, he insisted. Tyki left with a nod, and then Lenalee, who cast Allen a questioning, concerned look before she left, only leaving when Allen gave her a smile and a nod.

That left Wisely and Allen, and Wisely pushed off his tree and stretched.

“We should probably go back to bed,” Wisely commented mildly. “Do you mind if I walk you back? It would set the Earl’s mind at ease if he was sure you’d gotten back alright.”

“What could possibly happen in here?” Allen wondered, but nodded in agreement nonetheless, and both of them started walking in the direction they’d come.

“Don’t ask me,” Wisely chuckled.

They both went quiet, walking side by side – maybe a little further apart than most people would have, but side by side nonetheless. They were almost halfway back before Wisely spoke again.

“The Earl really is very worried, you know. I’m not certain you realize how obvious it is, how uncomfortable you all are around us.”

“I know,” Allen acknowledged, smile disappearing. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure there’s really anything we can do about it.”

Wisely glanced over at him with obvious pity in his eyes. “I know. That isn’t what I was saying.” Allen frowned at him in confusion, and Wisely continued, “The Earl wants all of you to feel comfortable, you know. At this point, if any of you asked for something, he would grant it without a single question asked.” Wisely waited a moment, but Allen, for once, wasn’t sure what to say; maybe he’d used all of his words earlier in the day. “And the rest of the Noah family wants _you_ here, Allen. You’re family, whether you know what that means or not.”

Allen knew. As awful as he felt about it, that had been one of his biggest bargaining chips when negotiating peace initially.

He ducked his head, cheeks flushing with embarrassment and discomfort. “Thank you,” he said, for lack of anything better.

Wisely sighed, and before Allen could think to feel guilty, the other boy reached to grasp his elbow gently, giving him a serious look.

“We’re Noah,” Wisely said. “It’s not in our nature to be understanding or to be gentle. But that doesn’t mean we’re incapable of restraint.”

Allen laughed a little. “I don’t think you need to worry about that. Kanda might kill something if you handle him with kid gloves. We’ll probably do better if you pretend not to notice.”

Wisely’s mouth twitched into a brief smile. “Thank God,” he replied dryly. “Sadly, that’s not how the Earl works, or Sheryl, for that matter.” Pause. “Lavi. Is he ever going to move past what happened?”

Allen didn’t know, honestly. “He’ll try.”

Wisely nodded. “You’re doing a good job,” he said suddenly. “Negotiating all this. I know you’re the only true bridge between us. It will be hard, but I know you can.”

“Thank you,” Allen repeated, and it was somehow softer and more sincere than all the ones that came before it. Wisely gave him another nod.

“It’s hard now,” Wisely said, “but it is not impossible. We can do this, if we try.”

Allen wasn’t so sure. But it was good, at least, to know that Wisely thought it could happen.

They reached Allen’s room, and there were no parting words. Wisely gave Allen one final nod, and Allen smiled back, and then he’d returned inside and the door was shutting behind him.

This was exhausting, Allen realized dimly.

But it was going to work. It was going to be worth it.

Everything would be worth it, so long as they were okay.


End file.
